Random Thoughts

update on my life

2008-04-04T18:06:27Z

How do you deal with an annoying roommate... 5 weeks before the end of the school year??
I've been letting this go...and I need to just keep doing it.
I guess my question really is.... how do I keep my sanity for 5 more weeks?! haha.
I haven't posted on here in forever. life has changed so much, and so I have I. This is incredible.
Does anyone else still use this?!

zzil @ 2007-12-20T21:55:00

2007-12-21T03:58:13Z

Wow, I haven't updated this thing in FOREVER.
I don't even know what to write about write now.
my mind is going in like 5000 directions.
I think I probably have an ear infection... no cool.
I'm getting used to this... having one of my best friends be a guy. I kind of like it actually.
Christmas is SO close, and I got my bank statement today. Dang... looks like my Christmas shopping is done... :(
I'm SO glad first semester is over. I know how much I'm going to change for next semester. I'm pretty excited about my classes, just not excited about the level of difficulty. ...ugg.
anyway, I really need to go to wal mart and get some ear drops. Adios.
if anyone still reads this I hope you enjoyed and if you want further update on my life let me know! :)

everyone should enjoy this... 96%

2007-01-30T04:22:07Z

[x] You have screamed at an inamnite object for 'hurting' you.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x]You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
[ ] You have ran into a tree/bush.

so far: 4

[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.

so far: 6

[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[x half ] You've never seen the Matrix.
[ ] You type only with two fingers.
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[x ]You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

so far: 11

[x] You have fallen asleep in class
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you were talking about.
[x] People often shake their heads at your storys.
[ ] You are often told to use your "inside voice".

so far: 15

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[x] You have eaten a bug accidently.
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x...today] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

so far: 20

[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
[x] You break a lot of things.
[x] you tilt you're head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[ ] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word "ew" is used many times a day.
[ ] Your probably going to have to use a calculator to multiply this.

total score =24

96% BLOND!

NOW, take that number and multiply it by 4 and REPOST this as "your total in percent, blond

Shyness

2007-01-16T03:14:18Z

Same as my Xana entry...

Well, with the help of my dad, I have come to the realization that I am too shy.
I am too afraid to talk to people, I'm too afraid to ask questions...
I'm not shy when I'm other places, but when I'm at school I just get super reserved.
Why? I hate it! I just want to be able to make friends, and hang out with people.
My dad even said that he wants me to make friends instead of staying home all the time.
It's been so hard for me this year.
I've been trying so hard to kind of play it off cool, but I serioulsy can't take it much longer.
Last semester my classes were full of older people with families, but this semester I have a lot more people my own age. I just am so afraid to talk to them because I'm afraid that they won't like me for who I am. I know that shouldn't matter... but I am begining to have such low self-esteem. I haven't really ever felt like this in my entire life. I've always had friends around me, but now... it's so different. I know that I still have friends, it's just so different when there's no one familiar around to hang out with, or when I can't just call up one of my friends and go to the movies or something. My dad is right. I need to just talk to peopel and be myself, because people will like me for who I am. I know this note sounds like I'm going crazy, but I just needed to sort things out.. and this is one of the best ways I can. I don't know if anyone reads this but if anyone does some uplifting words of encouragement would be really helpful. I've got class tomorrow, and my dad gave me a task. haha he's so great. But anyway...that's all there is to that... I'm a little drained so I'm going to take a nap before I do some more homework.

zzil @ 2007-01-14T23:46:00

2007-01-15T05:46:59Z

What the heck... Okay.. So it is snowing, and it has been since this morning.. we have a lot of snow right now.
How come it can't snow on a day I have classes? seriously, this is crap.

Anyway, on to more important things...
I spent this weekend with my cousin and we were trying to think of baby names for her! :) I'm so very excited about that! I'm still trying to decide what to do about Phili. I am supposed to be going out there to help the youth group with a mission trip, but that is also the same time that my cousins will be here with their husbands and children that I haven't gotten a chance to meet yet. Besides, I won't even know if I can have that week off of work, or if I will be working at camp again. I would like to hope so, but who knows what God has planned for me?!
Another thing--- I got my acceptance letter to Northwestern on Friday! I'm pretty excited about it. I really don't like Iowa Lakes right now, so next year will be wonderful!! I think my parents don't really want me to go there, but hey, it's not up to them. I'm paying for it all. I guess if they want to have a say in it they should offer to pay some of it. (HA!) I'm going to be in debt up to my neck when I'm done.. With just buying a new car, soon buying a new phone, then paying for at least three more years of school, not just school, but a private christian college. Yikes. I'm freaking a little, but It's not like it's the end of the world. Hopefully I will be able to find a job right after graduation. I told my mom the other day that I'm only going to school for my MRS. haha. I don't think she got it at first, but when she did she just laughed a little... I think she think's im serious. I don't think my parents can actually see me having a real career. Maybe it's beacuse they don't really have real careers, but that shouldn't limit me. Or maybe it's because I don't know for sure what I want to do? Who knows. I'm sure I will do something, it's not like I'm going to be a bum.
I want to start working out again. I did it for a while last semester, but I got so tired of being sore that I just kind of stopped. I should start again.... I'm going to start again. I love this tape that my mom has from the 80s. It's MTV work out video. It's not too tough, but it's fun to do. Hopefully I can start doing that again.
Anyway, I have rambled on enough. If you actually read all of this you deserve some kind of prize.Too bad I'm too poor to purchase anyone anything. A high five will have to suffice.
I hope you all enjoy the weather wheve ever you may be!

It's only the begining!

2007-01-11T13:50:51Z

Well, the semester has started....and I think I'm in WAY over my head!
I'm taking Intro to Education...not so bad...except for the 40 hours of in-class obeservation I will have to do.
Also, Intro to computers...not too bad, the projects might take a while, but nothing I can't handle.
Comp2...shouldn't be bad...just a lot of reading.
Then, 2 Independant Studies, Marriage and Family and History to 1877...
I started watching the videos last night and I went to answer the questions for Marriage and Family
and the questions were about Individualism and Family Values
and the video was about Culture and the battle between being single or getting married... weird.
Anyway..
It's the 2nd day of the semester... I should just be giving myself a little time.
ohh yeah.. and Rachel and Joe *some friends of mine) had their baby!
Levi David ...I went and saw him last night,
he's SO little and SO cute!
And, my friend Courteney asked me to be in her wedding in July! *yay*

zzil @ 2007-01-05T11:42:00

2007-01-05T17:42:31Z

I just got home from signing the loan papers. Hopefully tonight after work I can go up and sign the papers at the dealership and bring home a new car. I'm getting so darn excited!!!

crap

2007-01-03T19:09:46Z

why I suck...

i went to ask at the bookstore about ISBN numbers.. and they won't give them to me. I told them that was illegal and they said it was against the college policy. So, I have to go take it up with the business office. GRR! Those freaking jerks will give them to my mom but not me..and now my mom won't ask for them because she's being the biggest bitch in the world.
Another reason.
I've been car shopping because my car is a piece of crap. So, i found one.. and now the bank won't give me a loan because I have NO credit, and my paren't can't co-sign because they already have 2 loans out for their business.
Another thing...
I was driving back from being mad at the bookstore and my car just shut off.. not once, twice, three time, more like 24 times. So, I had to call Gramp to come save me, and he was driving my car back to my house while I followed and he said it quit on him too while he was driving. We came to the conclusion that it's not idle-ing. So... now... I have to work at 3 and I have no car. I will be walking to work, and my tennies are in the the car that my dad has in Milford.
My mom called me back because i was going to call her at work and tell her about the college problems and she thought that I was mad at her and dad for not giving me money to do it.. and i told her that wasn't the case and she got really mad at started yelling at me becasue we're not rich.. and blah blah blah.. then she hung up on me as I was explaining that I handn't called to tell her that.

ohhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyy gooooooosshhhhhh!

as i was writing this.. my dad called.. and he got my loan approved!!! i'm gong to get my new car tonight... holy buckets of crap. hahahah. im still pissed about school though.
I'm going to go reflect on all of this.

zzil @ 2006-12-28T14:55:00

2006-12-28T14:55:58Z

things I don't understand:
-Guys...they're confusing and depressing.
-Colds...my nose is so stuffed
-Spencer, Iowa...completely boring if you have 2 friends here.
-ILCC...my college...enough said.
-my guitar...im beginning to wish it would just play itself.

in 2007...I'm looking forward to:
-finding a new college.
-going to camp again?
-not caring so much about certain things.
-being on my own (kind of)
-seeing (at least) 4 of my cousins new babies!!
-being more outgoing
-deciding what I want to do with my life.
-getting a new car
-making new friends.

What I still can't wait for this year:
NEW YEARS PARTY AT CAMP!!!

zzil @ 2006-12-24T06:32:00

2006-12-24T06:32:45Z

Oh my goodness...WHY? why is it always that the boys you want to like you dont and the ones you don't want to do?

He just doesn't get it. I dont want to be anymore blunt with him...

I thougt everyone would want to know these 100 random things about me!

2006-12-15T20:30:51Z

100 Random Things About Me

1. Ever been given an engagement ring? No

2. Longest friendship: 1 year.

3. Last gift you received: I don't even know..haha probably my book from Joanna at camp.

4. How many times have you dropped your cell? ohh geepers..who knowS!

5. When's the last time you worked out? 2 days ago.

6. Thing you spend a lot of money on: clothes.

7. Last food you ate: Arbys

8. First thing you notice about the opposite sex: how he's acting.

9. One favorite song: Big Enough

10. Where do you live? Iowa

11. High school you attended: SHS

12. Cell phone service provider: Midwest Wireless..for now.haha

13. Favorite mall store: um.. I duno..Old Navy

14. Longest job ever had: Head Start

15. Do you own a pair of dice? Probably

17. Last wedding attended: my cousin's

18. First friend you'd call if you won the lottery: mom and dad

19. Last time you attended church: service?... Sunday... church in general?..Wednesday

20. How old are you? 18

21. Biggest lie you have heard: oh man.. I have no idea.. i've heard too many

22. What do you want to drive? something with good gas milage that isn't more than 8 years old! haha

23. Where's your favorite place to eat with friends? this summer it was either the Perk or Marco's

24. Can you cook? not very well

25. What car do you drive? piece of crap '89 or '90 new yorker.

26. Best Hugger: em... my mom!

27. Last time you cried: a few tears when I was watching tv this morning haha.

28. Most disliked food: um.. .a lot.. .but I really don't like ANYTHING with Tomatos!

29. Thing you like most about yourself: i duno..eyes?

30. Thing you dislike most about yourself: a lot.. weight.

32. Longest shift you have worked at a job: 12 hours.

33. Favorite movie: oh man.. i duno..maybe Just Like Heaven

34. Can you sing? you don't want me to.. TRUST ME!

35. Last concert: probably Lifelight

36. Last kiss: on the cheek from my dad haha

37. Last movie rented: haha.. confessions from a teenage drama queen.

38. Thing you never leave home without: my phone

39. Favorite vacation spot: umm.. colorado.. i think

40. Do you like Chinese food? yeah...not around here though.

42. Is your room clean? not like it was.. i need to work on that

43. Laptop or desktop computer? laptop

44. Favorite comedian: i dont know any haha..

45. Do you smoke? no!

46. Sleep with or without clothes? no

47. Who sleeps with you every night? just myself

48. Long distance relationships work? I don't know.

49. How many times have you been pulled over by the police? never *knock on wood*

50. Pancakes or french toast? french toast!

51. Do you like coffee? I'm really starting to!

52. How do you like your eggs? scrambled

53. Do you believe in astrology? not really.

54. Last person you talked to on the phone: dad.

55. Last person on your missed call list: dad

56. What was the last text message you received? Seventeen..haha.. but otherwise Chels

57. McDonalds or Burger King? um.. McDonalds.

58. Number of pillows: I have like 12 right now haha

59. What are you wearing right now? gouchos and a fleece

60. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song: when you think tim mcgraw i hope you think of me.

61. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? strawberry!!

62. Can you play pool? no way

63. Do you know how to swim?: Yes!

64. Favorite ice cream: strawberry cheesecake!! haha or vanilla

65. Do you like maps? sometimes..

66. Tell me a random fact about yourself: I have to work in an hour.

68. Ever attend a theme party? nope

69. What is your favorite season? summer or fall

70. Last time you laughed at something stupid? like three seconds ago haha

71. What time did you wake up this morning? 9:30

72. Best thing about winter? well most of the time.. the beautiful snow.

73. Last time a cop gave you a ticket? never...*knock on wood*.

74. What's the scariest thing you've ever done? umm gone to the top of a mountain..

75. Name of your first pet? sophie

76. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated? uh...overrated?

77. What are you doing this weekend? wrestling meet, grandpa's birthday, church then going to see my grandma, aunt, uncle and their two new kids in Minnesota.. oh yeah and cramming.

78. Who's your best friend? chels or my mom

79. What is the third letter of your name? I

80. How old are your pets? Phoebe is almost 2.

81. What color is your backpack? red and black

82. Are you sick? haha.. haha.. all i can say is sick minded.. but I'm really not sick minded anymore. I've changed A LOT in 2006

84. Is the bathroom open? i suppose.. im the only one home haha

87. Are you smiling? i guess.

88. Do you have on eyeliner? yea

89. Do you miss someone right now? yeah

90. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? Australia.

91. Do you have a Myspace? Do you have a Live Journal? both.

92. Are you in high school? nope, college

93. Do you have a crush? well, kind of.. I don't really know.

94. What is your favorite nickname for yourself? Lizz..or Lilly (it's comin back haha)

95. What color is your bathing suit? black and white (zebra!)

96. What's your favorite brand of water? tap..haha

97. Did you go on vacation last month? no

98. Have you ever been on a cruise? no

99. Do you have a sister? no

100. Are you upstairs? I'm in the middle haha.

zzil @ 2006-12-12T19:33:00

2006-12-12T19:33:06Z

How would you describe me?

http://kevan.org/johari?view=yelhsahtebazile

Good luck with finals everyone!!

Good vs. Bad

2006-12-04T19:18:59Z

Things I am happy about!

* Spoon Dancing
* Feeling invisable with Erin
* Seeing a certain friend.
* drinking green tea from a blue bottle
* I'm getting strong.. mentally
* purple patrol
* christmas shopping nearly complete
* GRAND MEANDER
* Playing guitar
* 11 days until Chels gets home!
* PAY DAY!!

things I'm sad about!

* Lost my Spanish book
* I can't drop Spanish
* Dead Grass
* 5.5 months until camp...too long
* not enough time in a day
* not enough weekend
* My hair.
* Studying for Finals...blah
* Funeral Tomorrow.

So, I guess the good outweigh the bad. This week seems to be off to a good start.

zzil @ 2006-10-29T03:00:00

2006-10-29T03:00:28Z

Since Wednesday it was just my mom and I at home. It was so great. I never really get to hang out with her. On Thursday night we were freaking out because there was some huge strange bug crawling on the floor, Friday we listend to the game on the radio, and today we went downtown to the bookstore, the fabric store, the library, Hallmark...we just spet time together and had fun. I will miss that. But, I'm very glad we did!

I'm working on some more college applications for next year. I have decided to go into Youth Ministry...which probably means a major in Religion. Still something to think and pray about though.

I'm also coming down with a very yucky cold. I honestly sound like a thirteen year old boy...ya know?! haha.
....one more thing.. does anyone know any good books on tape or cd? I'm going to rochester for my grandma's surgery on Wednesday and I want to listen to a book. I have the New Testiment that I have been listening to, but I want something else too. Anyway.. let me know if you have any ideas!

zzil @ 2006-10-26T09:10:00

2006-10-26T14:11:30Z

I got my midterm grades..SO much better than I ever expected! Things are really looking up, I like that.

zzil @ 2006-10-12T15:02:00

2006-10-12T15:06:07Z

Brr... its so cold outside. It even snowed!.. beautiful, but cold.
The mom on MADE right now is a witch. I'm glad she's not my mom! :)

zzil @ 2006-10-06T09:40:00

2006-10-06T14:41:50Z

so, i just got my Comp grade and I am .71% away from an A! ahh!

zzil @ 2006-10-02T17:09:00

2006-10-02T22:10:37Z

all of these school shooting are a little bit scary.
since August 1, there have been 24 children shot in schools. Yikes!

Update.

2006-09-19T17:17:05Z

Well its been a while since I have updated. I really have no excuse. Since I have big breaks between classes I've started to work out. (much needed)
I'm using some dvds and junk and today i did belly dancing work outs. Let me tell you, that lady is DUMB...or her camra crew. She doesn't explain stuff very well, ANd they never show her legs or feet or anything. I want to remove the mirror from the room when I'm doing this. I look like such a fool. Its a good thing I remembered to shut the blinds. I had a good time yelling at her today though. Anyway, I'm off to the library...and then to take a Spanish quiz.
ADIOS!

Am-Azing

2006-08-15T03:07:57Z

Ok so... This rocks. I have twin 7 month old boys in my famiy this week. Yay!!! Life is good!

oh.. and I'm 99% sure I will be back next summer! yay for that!

oh...and school starts in 13 days!

oh...and Tim Tam Slams are the best ever. Everyone should try one.. and if you don't know what that is.. ask me next time you see me beacuse you're really missing out.

Uh. im gona go play Thumper. See ya Later!!

zzil @ 2006-08-09T23:16:00

2006-08-10T04:18:36Z

ok...woah.. talk about more stressed out than ever!!! I have to have the video from this week done tomorrow night and then the STAFF VIDEO of the WHOLE SUMMER done on Friday night or Saturday morning. .... Argh!! I think I want to just throw up or something... It am so stressed that I can hardly take it anymore. I can't even concentrate on anything. .....humph. Anyway... I'm done complaining.

I went to Ingham today.. I like it there... a lot.

I might get to be a counselor next week...or maybe the week after.. YAY!

good night.

wow

2006-08-06T13:59:53Z

So last night was amazing. I know for a fact that I can't put into words the things that happened tonight.
After the Quilt Auction we were going to have a girls night and a guys night. So, all of us girls went out for pizza at pizza ranch, and all of the guys went somewhere. Well, we were supposed to come back and have worship at 8, but we were all ready and the guys weren't back yet, so us girls decided to start.. it was pretty sweet!! Well after the guys came and we all worshiped together we were to have a quick meeting. Well during the meeting things happened and I was so confused, frustrated, angry, i can't even tell you all of the emotions I felt. Well, we had a prayer time after that. it was so awesome and wonderful. I was filled with so much emotion, and so much prayer. I knew that God was there. It was the craziest thing that has ever happened in my life. I loved it. I have realized so much and had so many prayers answered.
I was really struggling with talking, and being bold, and I was sitting and I remember the specific moment that everything became clear and.. yeah. it rocked. Well if you want to know anything else or talk or whatever let me know!
sorry this was so stinkin long haha! have a great week everyone

please read, also posted on opendiary

2006-08-03T05:21:58Z

so, here I am. I am smack in the middle of my tenth week.
I can't believe how fast it has gone. I have learned so much about myself, and I have grown up in so many ways. My days have been spent with people who recently graduated..from college. haha
When I am not in my office with those "elders" I am hanging out with people closer to my age. It's so great that they are so encouarging. I am hardly nervous for college, and I have become more bold.
I have grown spiritually as well. This has been a really tough summer for me being the youngest person on staft to have an office, and to actually have a "real job" It's been hard becasue I feel like sometimes people dont take me seriously and sometimes I feel like I'm just too young.
Well, I have done more praying this summer than anytime in my life. It's amazing what God will do when you just ask. I know that I can do nothing on my own. Its been made very clear to me this summer.
I have been struggling with many things about the job that I haven't even mentioned. It's been one of the greatest adventures of my life. I wouldn't change it for anything.
Theres something about this place that can change you in ways that you can't explain. It's great.

If anyone is interested we are having a community mime (not really what you expect a mime to be like... ask me about it if you want!)
on Friday at I think 8 o'clock.
It would be fun to bring a group up. it's only about 45 minutes long. It doesn't matter if you are or are not a christian, or if you care. It would just be cool to have people come watch!
I am continuallly thinking of everyone and praying for youand sometiems wishing that I am back home. Just know that I miss you all...good luck class of 2006! :)

zzil @ 2006-07-18T09:45:00

2006-07-18T14:46:50Z

so, i haven't updated since may 18th.. haha... im at camp working my tail off. i'll update about it all later!

zzil @ 2006-05-17T06:29:00

2006-05-17T11:29:31Z

tomorro is our last day.... wow!!